


An arrow to the heart

by morgansoul



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Battle of Sodden Hill, Blood and Injury, F/F, Fix-It, Fluff, I don't want to deal with her death ok, Tumblr Prompt, Vanielle doesn't die here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28538586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgansoul/pseuds/morgansoul
Summary: Fix-it fic where Vanielle survived Sodden and all the mages get seriously injured.
Relationships: Tissaia de Vries/Vanielle of Brugge
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	An arrow to the heart

**Author's Note:**

> Anon on tumblr requested "a fix-it fic where Vanielle survived Sodden, but is greatly injured", so I tried to think about a way to do so. Though I spent more time crying over her than thinking about how to save her hahaha.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it <3

Dimeritium.

The word was uncommon, it was as strange as the substance it referred, but far less terrifying. One thing was the knowledge of dimeritium, but a very different one was the fact that a mage was willing to use it against one of her kind. If Tissaia had had any hope of getting Fringilla back, of giving her a second chance so she could redeem herself for what she had been doing those last decades, the spark was suffocated with the black and blue powder. Who would have thought that the great Tissaia de Vries would be defeated by a stupid and rare poison, without getting the chance to defend herself, just because she didn’t want to hurt one of her girls?

The first mental connection that the rectoress felt disappear was like an arrow straight to her heart, for it was Vanielle’s presence the first she stopped feeling. The only person that had never been too far away from her, the only person who had always been by her side even if they were miles apart, the person she cared the most was now out of her reach and the sensation was dark, sad and full of hopelessness, what was she supposed to do now? Vanielle’s absence was quickly followed by Vilgefortz’s, Coral’s, Gorazd’s, Atlan’s, Yennefer’s, some of her girls and then… Then there was nothing but silence. She could see Fringilla moving her lips, she could feel herself answering to whatever she was saying, but she couldn’t hear any of that, she couldn’t understand what was happening in the middle of that deafening silence and absence of chaos. The world started to quickly spin around her and the colours of the forest started to mix and fade in a very disgusting darkness. She knew she was falling as if she were watching from the outside, but she couldn’t really feel how it was happening; it was kind of fun, in fact, if she stopped to think about her own stupidity, going out and alone in the hope to get her girl back, to make it stop the madness she had created… She had always thought Yennefer would be the dead of her, but apparently Fringilla was resented enough with her former classmate as to steal her that privilege. It was strange to finally manage to shut Yennefer up, maybe she could even take a little nap while the dimeritium was doing its thing, maybe she wouldn’t wake up, maybe she wouldn’t need to face the death of her kids… Because that was what they were, they were only kids who wanted to help but were not prepared enough, they wouldn’t live through that, they…

“Tissaia, can you hear me?”

Was that Yennefer? Was she there with her? Why was she calling her?

“Tissaia we need you”.

Did they? Why would they want a powerless mage that currently had no strength to even rise from the floor? She wouldn’t be able to hold a sword, so she wasn’t going to be precisely helpful, they would understand that, right? But it wasn’t true, she could still be useful for someone, a little flesh wall was still a shield, so maybe she could help someone if she managed to get up.

Her hands and knees felt weak, as did her legs, but none of it stopped the sorceress from finally getting up. It was darker than the previous time she had opened her eyes, so it was impossible for her to tell if she had been sleeping or hallucinating, but she started to walk back to the keep as faster as she could. Her chaos was completely blocked, her body was cold and she couldn’t really feel all the parts of her anatomy, so she wasn’t sure if she would fall or reach her goal; one step after the other and she finally got to the edge of the woods.

El campo de batalla estaba lleno de soldados. La gran mayoría de los granjeros y magos estaban muertos, algo fácil de ver incluso con la borrosa vista de la rectora o la forma en la que el mundo daba vueltas a su alrededor, amenazando con devolverla al suelo. Tissaia se detuvo a una distancia segura y extendió ambos brazos en un vano intento de forzarse a manipular el caos que la rodeaba, pero solo un suave destello azul acudió a sus manos, seguido de frío y dolor, como si alguien estuviese reteniendo parte de su esencia dentro de ella con puño de hierro. Una voz a sus espaldas llamó su atención, Yennefer seguía viva y estaba allí… Tissaia notaba sus labios moverse, pero no era capaz de procesar que el sonido que salía de estos eran palabras, del mismo modo que no podía comprender qué era lo que Yennefer le estaba diciendo, aunque no tuvo demasiado tiempo para darle demasiadas vueltas, pues sus rodillas cedieron finalmente, haciéndola caer al suelo. Pese a no saber qué decía Yennefer, la rectora pudo entender que Sabrina necesitaba su ayuda, pero ¿cómo esperaba la hechicera que la ayudase? Tissaia a duras penas podía mantenerse consciente, mucho menos ir a buscar a la joven o curarla con una magia que a la que el dimeritium no le permitía acceder.

“It’s your turn…”

Fortunately, her mind knew what she meant, what she had to ask of her, because she wouldn't be able to help all those people, not in her state. Tissaia had failed the mages as rectoress, but they could still save them, it was not too late, not if Yennefer was able to see what her real power was, if she was able to see herself as Tissaia had always seen her. When Yennefer began to absorb the fire of the keep, the chestnut knew what the fate of everyone on the battlefield would be —except for the mages who had the ability to use their chaos to protect themselves— so she stood up and raised her head. Yes, maybe it would finally be Yennefer who finished her, but that was fine... Tissaia was willing to die at the hand of her former student, but she would do so standing and with her head high, showing her that everything would be alright, that she should not feel guilty for killing her. But the fire never touched Tissaia’s body, so the woman crouched down and covered herself with both arms to protect her sight from the intense light the flames produced. Why was she still alive? Why hadn't Yennefer burned her with the rest of people?

That day, two of her former students had had the opportunity to kill her, to take revenge for the way she had broken them while they were both studying in Aretuza. Fringilla had relied on the dimeritium, which had proved strangely insufficient to assassinate the rector; Yennefer had unleashed hell on the battlefield and forced the fire away from her former mentor to protect her. Why? Why would all of them get so close to kill her and then, in the last moment, avoid doing so?

When Tissaia got back on her feet, her eyes were filled with tears and her body trembled with violence. The dimeritium was still present in her body, but the heat of the fire had helped the rectoress a little to recover some temperature, so perhaps she would have a chance to find her girls. First, she needed to find Yennefer, because she was no longer at the top of the cliff she had climbed to get a better angle... Where was that girl? Tissaia began wandering the battlefield, shouting her name and doing her best to find her, ignoring the way the world moved strangely around her, spinning, going up, down... Maybe Yennefer had gone looking for Sabrina. She had mentioned earlier that the blonde needed help, so it was possible that she had run back next to her to make sure someone could treat whatever her wounds were. Tissaia refused to think about the possibility of Yennefer not being alive, so she just clung to that idea instead.

Before she realized, Tissaia was walking towards the tore door of the ruins, reeling and encountering serious difficulties in orienting herself in the darkness of a restless world. The cold reached her bones again, but it finally seemed to have slowed down and stopped advancing; there was still a possibility that the rectoress would survive such direct poisoning with dimeritium, so the woman was being very fortunate or miserable that day, considering that many of the sorcerers who had accompanied her should be dead by then and that, if she did not die, she would have to bear their deaths. However, there was a death with which she was sure she would be unable to live, so the brunette should better be alive.

When Tissaia reached the keep, her legs gave up, causing her to fall to the ground. This time it was not Yennefer's arms that held her, but there was someone who pounced over her despite the pitiful state in which they were both at that moment. Tissaia had never met anyone able to remain indifferent by hearing Triss cry and, although she was always going to deny it, she was no exception, so she hugged the sorceress's body with the little force her arms had, resting her chin on the young woman's brown hair. Had it not been because the whole battlefield reeked of burnt flesh and blood, perhaps the rectoress would have noticed before the great burn on her former student's chest, but at that moment she was too happy knowing that she was alive to think about her condition. The northern armies would soon arrive, probably accompanied by the corresponding court mages, so whoever was still alive would have a chance to continue to be —at least, if they were the sorceresses of Aretuza, a thousand times more competent than ban Ard's boys. Triss clung to her dress tightly, terrified of being left alone again, to continue suffering on her own, so Tissaia tried to cradle her in her arms, ignoring the warm moisture that was beginning to spread from her eyes and cheeks.

“It all will be over soon, my child,” whispered Tissaia in a voice much softer than they both had expected, but still sore for her condition, “when the northern armies get here, they’ll bring healers and you’ll be fine”.

“It hurts so much…” Triss squirmed in pain, trying not to scream while tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I know, I know… But I promise it will stop soon,” Tissaia left a kiss on the mage temple and tried, once again, to use her chaos and sooth her suffering, but nothing more than a dimmed blue glowing appeared on her hands.

“You’re poisoned…” Cried the younger woman.

“I’ll be fine too, but I need to find whoever’s alive,” Tissaia caressed the woman’s hair with tenderness, “can you feel anyone else?”

“What is it?”

“Nothing you have to worry about, dear, now tell me, is anyone still alive?”

“Vilgefortz left, Sabrina is barely… Conscious and… I can’t…”

Tissaia hugged Triss harder, trying to hum in order to calm her down, but it wasn’t any kind of medicine or magic, so it wasn’t doing anything to help —it was, in fact, making Triss love the only maternal figure she had had even more and reassure her that under the cold surface, there was a worried woman that deeply cared for all of them—, so the rectoress looked around in search of anyone still alive. Apparently, there were two farmers who had been taking care of her girl until she showed up, so she asked them to keep watching over her while she left to find the other mages that were supposed to be alive.

Tissaia had no much trouble finding Sabrina, she had been unconscious next to the wall and her body looked as if she had fallen from the top of the keep, so she guessed that was what had just happened. The rectoress knelt next to the blonde and took a hand to her cheek to softly stroke her skin, moving a strand of golden hair behind her ear. The woman didn’t move, but she was breathing, so she was still alive. Tissaia had no strength to carry her, but she did her best to move Sabrina until she was seated with her back against the wall, one of the rectoress arms around the girl’s shoulders to keep her close for a while and her lips pressed against her forehead. She knew she shouldn’t waste time, but she couldn’t just leave one of her girls behind in such state, so she waited until she saw a woman passing by. The woman only needed the order to seat next to the blonde unconscious mage and promise she would look after her —and escape the remaining battlefield with it—, so Tissaia went back to Triss and the farmers to ask them if they could move to the wall so they could be safer and also keep an eye on Sabrina; Triss obeyed almost happily, only her pain slowing her down.

Next, Tissaia started to roam around the ruins, the corpses and the remaining of what had once been supplies for the war, trying to find any sign of her between the dead bodies. The rectoress was a strong woman, yes, but she had a heart and on it there was one more thing beside her girls… One more thing she wasn’t able to find anywhere, which was making her anxious and desperate as not even the loss of her chaos did. She needed to check the stairs and the top of the walls, but there was no sign of her beloved friend on the first level of the keep. Tissaia sopped at the first step of the wooden stairs to take a deep breath and do her best to control her own shaking. She was freezing cold and the world was getting darker every passing second, never stopping her movements around the rectoress in clear attempts to dizzy her and make her finally pass out. The next time the sorceress raised her gaze with blood starting to pool down her eyes, she saw a new body laying on the wood with three arrows nailed on it. As she started to take steps and climb the stairs, she finally recognised the body and saw the only person she was really looking for. Tears ran freely down her cheeks now that she found her.

Vanielle had three arrows on her, one in her heart, one in her right breast and other on her hip. She wasn’t moving, her eyes were open and fixed on the stars. Tissaia remembered the last time they both had been looking at the sky on the middle of the nigh, seated in one of the Aretuza’s towers with a blanket around them and a bottle of wine half empty. They were close. Closer than any of them would have said aloud. A little touch on the arm, a tilted head in each other direction, a warm smile on a Chapter meeting, a little rub of their fingers when both wanted to take the same thing… It was nothing and it was everything for the rectoress. They often met to have dinner together, sometimes they moved to one of their chambers so they could talk until dawn with a cup of tea, a bottle of wine or —if the day was bad enough— something stronger, but there were rarer times when they both felt that they needed something different, something more personal or private. Those times, they’d go for a walk around the school, to the cliffs or up to the towers to watch the sea or stargaze, they’d seat closely, and they’d let their hands meet, their heads rest on each other shoulders or their lips reach the other woman’s cheeks.

Tissaia hadn’t have the courage to properly kiss her and now she regretted every decision she had taken in all her life. She hated herself for having left to find Fringilla. If she had done it better, if she had been stronger, maybe…

“I can… Hear you thinking,” barely a hoarse whisper reached Tissaia’s ears.

The rectoress looked at the woman with confusion, needing a few seconds to realize she hadn’t exactly moved, but her chest was raising and falling softly in a barely visible way. Tissaia didn’t hesitate and closed the distance between them running as fast as she could but tripping down with her own foots and falling by her knees next to the woman. She didn’t care if she looked ridiculous, she just needed to do whatever was necessary to heal her friend, to make sure she didn’t die because of all the arrows she had nailed on her body.

“How?” Tissaia moved enough to seat by Vanielle’s side and put a hand on her cheek. She couldn’t speak properly, for her brain was still trying to figure it out if she was in denial, getting crazy or just destinated to see the woman dying before her eyes.

“Birthday…” The brunette managed to whisper, sliding her eyes from the stars to Tissaia’s eyes.

And the rectoress didn’t need anything else to know what Vanielle meant with that single word. Without asking, she put one of her hands on the arrow nailed on her heart and took it off, doing the same thing with the one on her right breast, but not daring to touch the third, on her hipbone. The world was fading dark so quickly now that she wasn’t even sure if she was going to wake up again, but, at least, if she died then, she’d do so while looking at the eyes of the woman she loved —even if she hadn’t dared to say so before—, she would die in her arms and therefore, she’d go at pace.

* * *

_“You didn’t have to cook me dinner, love,” Vanielle smile was too big to be ignored and that single fact made the incredibly big amount of work very worthy._

_“Well, Nilfgaard is marching North and we are going to have to take cards on the matter, so I think we should use the time we still have,” the rectoress smiled softly and guided her friend to the table._

_“You’re too young to die, can you please stop thinking about doing so?”_

_“I wasn’t…” Tissaia sighed, sometimes she hated that the woman knew her so well, “fine, I’ll do it. But just because it’s your birthday.”_

_“Shame it’s not always my birthday,” the brunette smirked, making the rectoress roll her eyes to hide her blush, “but thank you so much for all of this,” she pointed to the table, taking advantage —from the moment Tissaia used to look at the food—, to kiss the rectoress’ cheek._

_“I-it’s,” Tissaia cleared her throat, hating the warmth on her face, “it’s nothing, dear… But I do have a gift for you, just in case a fight is necessary,” Tissaia left Vanielle’s side to approach the table and grab a package wrapped in fine emerald-green silk that was lying on top of it. Then, she turned to the woman and offered it to her, “I know it’s not the most beautiful gift in the world, but I think I can get you the Toussaint perfume next year”._

_Vanielle laughed and took the gift, her fingers touching Tissaia’s while she did so. She sat in one of the two chairs and removed the silk with great care, raising both eyebrows when her eyes landed on the shining silver metal of the hauberk. It wasn’t longer than a shirt and it should cover an upper body until the hip —but it was Tissaia’s size, so it was kind of short for anyone else—, the metal seemed to glow silver and white, and it had some beautiful pearls and jewels crimped on the neckline. The brunette smile was soft and a little smaller, because it was right at that moment that she knew she would probably need any protection that coat of mail would give her._

_“You really thing we will need to fight,” she looked straight in Tissaia’s eyes and the rectoress sadly nodded, “then, I shall thank you for this, even if mages do not usually wear them”._

_“It’s mithril,” confessed the chestnut, making her friend drown a cry, “an old friend of mine gifted it to me a long time ago, but for someone of my age it has no sense to wear that… And before you say I am not that old, I am over the half millennium, so don’t. Besides, I want you to have it, just in case something happens…” Tissaia raised one hand when the brunette opened her mouth to complain, “I do trust your magical skills, dear, but I do not trust Nilfgaard nor what they are doing with their mages... You are my best friend and I’d like you to keep breathing after the war”._

_“You are really awful explaining yourself, Tiss,” Vanielle smiled widely and let the hauberk on the table, before raising and taking her friend’s hand, “but I understand and I won’t ask you any questions. Now, would you come to see the stars with me? We can have dinner up there and…”_

_“As I said, it’s your birthday, we can do whatever you want,” whispered the rectoress, before being dragged by a suddenly cheerful and happy mage._

* * *

The next time Tissaia opened her eyes everything was too bright and fuzzy for her to maintain them like that, so she closed them again. She was in some kind of bunk and she couldn’t feel half of her body, as if she had something in top of it, but she was warm and the awful coldness was beginning to fade somehow; maybe she wasn’t death after all. A small movement by her side attracted her attention and made her open her eyes again. On her same bed was Vanielle, laying very close to her and unmoving, but holding her hand with a death grip —which she wasn’t going to complain about, though. Tissaia only needed to see how her chest raised and went down a single time before closing her eyes again and letting herself drift away and be taken by the sleep and dreams.

* * *

_“I know you’re dying to ask about it and despite your birthday being last week, you may do so”._

_“Really? The great Tissaia de Vries is going to share personal information with me?” Vanielle laughed and rested her head on the chestnut’s shoulder, looking at the fire. They were alone in the teacher’s meeting room, seated in one sofa and sharing a bottle of wine after a very stressful meeting with The Jerk--Chapter._

_“Anything so you stop to look at me with those puppy eyes!”_

_“I don’t look at you with puppy eyes!” The woman took a hand to her chest, faking offense and making her friend laugh… She was so beautiful when she let herself do that, not that she was having gay thoughts or something like that, she was just appreciating art, because clearly Tissaia was art._

_“But you are doing it right now!”_

_“I am not! Those are not my puppy eyes, those are my…” Vanielle took a sip of wine to drown the ‘I’d gladly pin you to the floor and fuck you right now’ that was forming on her mind and answered instead, “I am very drunk eyes.”_

_“They are the same! You always look at me with those,” Tissaia rolled her own eyes, bursting in to laugh when she saw her friend’s shocked face. All was blurry and extremely fun, so she had probably gotten a little bit drunk._

_Vanielle mouth was open with surprise, for she was not expecting the rectoress to confirm that she always looked at her as if wanting to fuck her… It may be a problem, actually, but she was too drunk to try and think about it, so she would just do her best not to obey the voice in her head telling her to kiss Tissaia, or to touch her, or to sit on her lap… That was going to be a very hard night for her._

_“How did you get the hauberk?” Tried the brunette, hopping she could deflect the conversation and her own thoughts. It would also help a lot to stop staring on Tissaia’s lips._

_“I told you, a friend gave it to me,” the rectoress moved a little to get closer to Vanielle and rested her head against her friend’s._

_“What friend? When? Where? Why?”_

_“Uhm… His name was Frodo, he was a nice guy… You know, to be a guy, and he was smaller than me. It happened about five hundred years ago, I was still pretty young back them and he said he wouldn’t need it anymore. We were on an elven city, we both were leaving to different directions, but he seemed to know that I would need protection in a world of men,” Tissaia’s voice was nostalgic and soft, her words dragged by her clumsier tongue, “I think we have no more wine”._

_“We could steal Stregobor another bottle, he’s not going to notice…”_

_“For the god’s shake, professor Brugge, you’re becoming quite a criminal those days,” Tissaia’s comment made them both have a fit of laughter. Vanielle hand ended up holding the rectoress’ and their fingers soon intertwined._

_“I can tell… Lately the only things I can think about are very inappropriate,” confessed the younger mage._

_“Then, maybe I should walk you to your room and make my way to mine, before some student sees us and we make fools of ourselves”._

_“Yes, that would be the better option before any of us ended up fulfilling her fantasies”._

_“Mhm, still thinking about helping me kill Stregoboring?”_

_Vanielle laughed again when she heard Tissaia use that name for the man, her mind quickly forgetting about her own fantasies to focus on that one._

* * *

“Tissaia?” Triss voice was soft, as was the girl herself. She was rubbing her face with a dampened cloth and she smiled widely when the rectoress opened her eyes, dropping the cloth and practically lying on top of her while hugging her body.

“Triss…” Her throat was dry and sore, so she couldn’t manage to say anything else. The woman, making a guess, used one of her hands to take a glass of water and handing it to her, helping the rectoress to seat and drink slowly.

Tissaia was on her room, on her own bed, and she was alone except for Triss. She was feeling better than the last time she woke up, but where was Vanielle? She had been by her side before so, why wasn’t she now?

“Dear, how are you?” Asked the woman instead, not refusing the second hug either and rounding Triss waist with her free arm. She was still weak, but at least she felt her whole body.

“I was worried for you,” sobbed the mage, to Tissaia’s surprise, “we all thought you were going to die, but you are awakened and you seem to be alive and…” Triss couldn’t go on, tightening her grip around the rectoress.

“If you don’t mind, I would like to be alive for a while longer and I am finding it hard to breath,” whispered the older woman, making the sorceress to relax her arms around her and just cuddle against her, “here, better… Now, if I recall properly, I asked you how you were and that includes your whole being, doesn’t it?”

“I’m almost healed as is Sabrina…” Triss sighed, silently thanking the mage for letting her stay like that, “I am fine now, just as you said,” the smile on her lips was soft, but the tears continued to wet her face.

“I am glad to hear that,” Tissaia put a brown lock behind Triss ear and smiled at her, “how long have I been sleeping?”

“Thirteen days,” muttered the woman against her chest, “we didn’t know if you would wake up… Rita has been covering your position, but she’s not you…”

“It’s okay, Triss… I’m here and I’m fine,” Tissaia took a deep breath before leaving a kiss on the younger woman’s temple, “now, you should get some rest and I think I’m going to take a bath, if you don’t mind”.

“Do you need help? The water must be cold and… I just want to make sure you are really fine,” confessed Triss.

The sorceress fear was the only reason that made Tissaia accept her help and let her walk by her arm to her bathroom, warm the water and help her to get in the bath. After those days without moving, her body was a little clumsy and heavy, making it difficult for her to show her usual poise and neutral appearance. She was thinner, paler and had a lot of shadows on her face, but she was alive and she would get better with a little bit of time, food and rest; maybe Rita would have to cover her for a few days more.

Triss helped her more than she would have liked, but just as much as she needed. She also made sure to change her bedsheets and to give her a comfortable grown that she could wear if she went out —of which she had no plans— and if she stayed on her chambers. When Tissaia was dressed again, the mage helped her to get to the armchair by the chimney and pointed to a tray with a teapot, a cup of fresh and warm tea and a plate full of food. The growl of Tissaia’s stomach gave away her hunger, so she did what Triss wanted and took the cup of tea to her lips to take a little sip; she knew she would need al the strength she could get before asking all the questions burning on the tip of her tongue. After finishing half the food, Tissaia sank on the armchair and avoided Triss eyes to ask her; she was really grateful to the girl for the incredibly big amount of conversation —more a monologue— she had gave her, but she was going to die from her anxiety if she didn’t get her answers.

“Triss… How many of our kind have died”.

“Thirteen…” Whispered the chestnut, suddenly sadder and darker.

“Yennefer and Vanielle…?”

“Yennefer is missing, Vanielle…” Triss made a pause to swallow the knot on her throat, “Vanielle is still unconscious. She was wearing a strange coat of mail, it saved her from the two arrows apparently you took off,” she side glanced at her, “but the third hit her just in the end of it, so we are still healing that wound… Besides, the other two arrows hit her hard, despite the protection, one of them was close to stop her heart.”

“Is she…?”

“I don’t know, as I said, we were scared that neither of you would make it,” Triss dried some tears with the sleeve of her dress, “you lied to me”.

“I am sorry I did it, dear, but worry wouldn’t have helped”.

“Dimeritium is a serious thing, Tissaia, you… You could…”

“Triss, look at me,” her voice was severe, so the girl snapped her head towards her, “I am alive and I’m fine, I won’t go anywhere despite how eager all my students should be.”

Triss nodded and moved to the floor, seating by Tissaia’s legs, and rested her head on her lap, closing her eyes. She was tired and the rectoress had been right about her needing some rest, but she couldn’t have had it without knowing the woman was going to be fine, so it wasn’t until now that her body had relaxed enough to allow her to skip all manners and decorum and do just what she was doing. To her surprise, Tissaia’s hand ended up on her head caressing her hair with tenderness and concern.

* * *

Tissaia was glad to have her girls with her, she really was, but she felt kind of stalked by all of them every second she moved one finger. Sabrina and Triss where at her room the whole day, she didn’t let her side, not even at night, so she was starting to think of a way out to escape her own room, sort the girls and teachers who would be wandering the corridors unable to sleep, pray to avoid any meeting with the member of The Chapter and finally manage to get to Vanielle’s room.

It was hard enough to hold Triss gaze every time she asked her about the state of the other mage, so if she asked her to take her to her room it would surely be a very uncomfortable situation. Tissaia had had time to deal with her own feelings and she knew why she felt that need to check on her friend, but there was nothing she could do about it if she couldn’t speak with the other woman and take it all from her chest. So, the fifth day, Tissaia created her own chance to run away. She couldn’t access all her chaos for now, but she could use a part of it and her body was improving each day, so she probably would make it to Vanielle’s room if everything went according to the plan. The first part included sending Triss to get food, the second, ask Sabrina to prepare her a bath while Triss was gone. All of it at four in the morning, so she would have to act as she had never before… And so she did.

When Tissaia closed Vanielle door on her back and rested against it, she was thinking she deserved some kind of prize named after some random person for her acting a few minutes ago, so it took her a whole minute to analyse the room she was in. Frowning, Tissaia moved from the door and started to order some things and arrange them to make them look like her friend would have wanted them to be. The flowers were dead, so Tissaia moved a hand and replaced them with new ones, using only the necessary amount of chaos; then she walked to the chimney and throwed away the dried ones, before adding more wood. The rectoress walked to the window and moved the curtain to open it and let the moonlight enter the room, keeping the window closed; she knew Vanielle loved to stargaze and even if she was sleeping, she wouldn’t refuse her such a sight. Finally, Tissaia dared to look at her friend’s face and her whole mask fell instantly when she realized how pale she was. She wasn’t sure of how bad her injuries were or about how the healers were treating her, so she just walked towards her and seated on the edge of the bed and tucked the blankets properly so she wouldn’t get cold. She deliberately ignored Sabrina’s attempt to reach her mind and sealed it so no one would bother her for a while.

“I’m sorry it took me this long to come and see you,” Tissaia took a hand to Vanielle face to place a dark lock behind her ear, “I spent two weeks sleeping and five days under surveillance of the girls… Probably you’ve been in similar circumstances, haven’t you?”

Tissaia sighed, but a soft smile was drawn to her lips after a moment of silence and contemplating her friend face.

“I was kind of disappointed when I didn’t wake up by your side… I mean, obviously you have a better place to be, but I think the only reason the dimeritium didn’t kill me was because you were close to me when I passed out the first two times and somehow you helped me to keep some warmth…” Tissaia let out a deep breath and used her free hand to wipe some tears that had dared to roll down her cheeks, “you see, apparently I’ve been in love for quite a long time and I was kind of stupid enough not to tell you before,” the woman stopped, needing some time to compose herself and get her voice back. Meanwhile, she took Vanielle’s hand and gently squeezed it, “Triss told me the mithril saved you, but that an arrow hit you just at the end of the hauberk… I guess I didn’t realize how short I was until now, I am sorry for it,” her lips trembled, but the soft smile didn’t disappear, “anyway, I still expect you to get better and wake up soon, so we could have a cup of tea and watch the stars… They are beautiful tonight, not as much as you, but that’s just impossible, isn’t it?” Tissaia swallowed the knot of her throat and wiped more tears from her eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m talking too much, it’s too late and you should be tired, so I probably should be leaving before Triss and Sabrina freak out… Even more than they are now,” she bent down to let a kiss on Vanielle’s temple and whispered, “but, if you were be kind enough to wake up, maybe we could sneak into Stregobor’s office and take a bottle of wine…”

No answer was given and Tissaia just nodded and raised, wiping her face once more before heading to the door. She casted a last glance to Vanielle and whispered, “I’ll be back tomorrow,” before opening the door and exit her room. Triss was leaning against the wall in front of the door and she raised her head when she heard the click of the door, so her eyes met Tissaia’s when the rectoress came out.

“You could have told us you wanted to come visit her,” muttered the chestnut, sketching a soft smile and offering her arm to the rectoress.

Tissaia said nothing about it and accepted the arm. Between the use of chaos and the walk, she was very tired and her body would need more than five days to be recovered again, so she would have to be more patient than she’d like to. With a sigh, she let Triss guide her back to her own room, where she had to avoid Sabrina’s furious look; she just wanted to hide under her blanket and forget about everything else, even if Triss insisted in behave like a teddy bear and made her sleep with her between her arms… Who was she to refuse the girl anything she wanted?

After that night, she came back to visit Vanielle every day for a few minutes, sometimes even an hour or two, for a whole week, before her condition worsened suddenly and made her stop. One moment, Tissaia was fine and walking through one of the hallways, the next one she was lying on the floor, cold as a stone and barely breathing. Neither Sabrina, Triss or any of the healers could tell what the dimeritium was still doing to her body or how to cure it, so they were trying their best to keep the rectoress alive, since it was Rita the poor soul who found her on the hallway and took her back to the bed, before calling every living person on the school. Anxiety and worry were, once again, the two leading emotions in the school since the battle of Sodden; it looked like everybody wandered inside a loop of negative emotions that only got brighter when the rectoress was doing fine and that sank in the moment she started to feel worse. If Tissaia were conscious, she would have said that it was impossible that anyone would care for her, that the school was dark because they all were concerned about Vanielle’s well-being, but it was not the case.

The rectoress spent three more days unconscious and four too weak to leave her bed more than strictly necessary, so she managed to ask Triss if she could go and change the flowers on Vanielle’s room so she wouldn’t get to see some dying lilies when she woke up. The young mage promised she would get Vanielle some fresh flowers and urged her to eat something before she slept again, in return. The woman couldn’t understand why Triss was so worried about her, but she did not dare to ask her about it, she didn’t have the strength to think too much.

It was the sixth day of Tissaia’s forced resting —and absence on Vanielle’s room—, and the rectoress was starting to get sick of being unable to let her bed, even if she couldn’t gather enough strength to do anything. Triss and Sabrina had decided to sleep on the sofa that night cuddled against each other not to disturb the older woman in their sleep, so they had let the door between her office and her private chambers open. Tissaia was asleep, but her dreams were too real and not enough, so she was just waiting for them to end so she could wake up and grab a book or something; it was a weird kind of sleep and it was far away from being the deep one she needed to properly heal.

“If you were be kind enough to wake up, maybe we could sneak into Stregobor’s office and take a bottle of wine,” whispered a kind and soft voice, making Tissaia lazily open her eyes and look at her.

“It does sound like a plan,” muttered the rectoress, closing her eyes again, “I’d love to go with you…”

“And despite of that, you are getting sleep again…” The woman laughed and Tissaia just curled on herself, while trying to reach for her, “would you mind if I stay here with you for a while? I’ve missed you these days.”

“I’ve missed you too, stay forever.”

“Tell me that when your fever goes down and I may take your words seriously,” the woman kissed Tisssaia’s temple.

“I love you,” managed the chestnut while dozing.

“I love you too, but, as I said, we’ll talk when you get better”.

Tissaia smiled and she only drifted off completely when the body of the woman was glued to her back under the blankets, one arm around her waist and her head buried on her hair. She was so used to sleep with any of the two girls that were now on her office that the only thing that made her think it could be Vanielle was the soft smell of strawberry and lilies; and it was that knowledge the only thing that made her truly sleep for the first time since she had woken up alone on her own bed two weeks ago, this time she had no nightmares or weird dreams. It was that scene the one that Sabrina and Triss found the next morning when she went into Tissaia’s room to check on her. Vanielle was laying next to her with one arm around her waist and her front pressed against Tissaia’s back. They both were deeply slept, so none of the women dared to disturb them, leaving the room instead.

They had no idea of how it was possible that Vanielle had gotten to Tissaia’s bed in the middle of the night without anyone realizing and when she was supposed to be unconscious, but when they told Rita, the blonde just frowned and told them to share whatever they were currently drinking. She had checked on Vanielle the day before and she was closer to death than to life, so it was impossible that she had just woken up and moved to Tissaia’s bed for some unknown reason.

* * *

Tissaia rolled on the bed just enough to turn on Vanielle’s arms and hide her face against her chest, the smell of the woman was soft and made her feel safe and sound, so she slept a few more hours in that position. Her own arm had rounded the woman waist and one of her legs had ended up tangled between the sheets and the brunette’s legs, making it impossible for any of them to just left without the other noticing —unless they were unconscious, which they had been the last days… Weeks, in Vanielle’s case—, but that didn’t make any of them think for a single second about leaving.

So, when Tissaia felt a hand caressing her hair, she opened her eyes slowly and stretched a little, stopping when the hand paused her movements. The rectoress groaned and she only received a little laugh in response, before the hand started over with the soft strokes on her hair. It took the woman two entire minutes to realize what had just happened, but when she did, her eyes were wide open, and her jaw almost reached the floor when she bowed her head to look at the brunette eyes.

“How the fuck…?”

“Oh, gods, the fever should be worse than I imagined,” Vanielle looked really worried suddenly, her eyes big and full of concern.

“What? No, I’m… Fine, why do you say that?” Tissaia frowned, feeling better than she had in more than a week.

“You just said ‘fuck’, love, you must be dying”.

“Oh, shut up,” groaned the rectoress now that she knew she was making such a big deal about one single word. Tissaia buried her face back on Vanielle’s chest and muttered, “I’m pretty fine”.

“Are you sure?” The brunette’s nails softly scraped her nape.

“I am now that you are back,” whispered the woman.

“It was your gift what saved me, so you’re the only reason why I’m still alive”.

“But you were not waking up”.

“I needed some healing, but since my best friend stopped visiting me, I got worried something bad had happened to her… Do you know anything related to that?”

“I just passed out in the hallway and I’ve been between consciousness and sleep all this time, sorry,” Tissaia hugged the brunette a little tighter, “I wanted to go and see you, but Triss and Sabrina don’t let me move out of the bed”.

“It’s okay, I would have waited for you, but since I woke up and saw the lilies I just wanted to come and thank you,” Vanielle smiled softly, “Rita makes me nervous when she comes and closes the curtain or messes everything on the room”.

“Wait, you were conscious of that?” Tissaia raised her head, worried.

“Yes… I couldn’t open my eyes, nor move, nor react, but I could hear you and feel you…” Vanielle bit her lower lip and tried to calm herself down.

“I can’t believe you listened to everything I told you about… Just tell me I didn’t tell you that I loved you last night,” whispered the rectoress, her cheeks red and her voice a little higher than usual. She was extremely nervous, but she’d have to face the consequence of her own actions.

“It was the fever, Tiss, it’s okay”.

“First of all,” the chestnut sat on the bed, looking at her friend a little more serious, “it was not the fever, I love you and I meant it… And in second place,” she swallowed her nerves. It may be her only chance to say all of that, so she’d better take advantage of it, “it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way, I just needed to tell you before something else happens, one of us dies or wmhm,” Tissaia had no chance to finish whatever she was going to say, for a pair of soft lips were suddenly pressed against hers with such a tenderness and sweetness that it was humanly impossible not to kiss them back and forget everything else.

Vanielle hand ended up in the rectoress neck, softly pulling from her to deepen the kiss and get Tissaia closer. The brunette didn’t hesitate to open her mouth in the very instant she felt Tissaia’s tongue against her lips, muffling a pleasure sound against the woman’s mouth and hiding a smile at the same time.

“Just for the record,” Vanielle whispered against the rectoress’ lips, “I love you too and I think I could stay in your bed for a couple of days, if you’d let me”.

“As I said, I missed you, stay forever, please,” Tissaia opened her eyes to look at the dark ones.

“Glad to oblige, love,” Vanielle smiled against her lips one last time before kissing her again.

Yes, it would take both of them a couple of weeks more to get better enough to spend more time awaken rather than sleeping, so they could be considered out of danger. Rita, Triss and Sabrina were constantly checking on them, trying to ignore how they looked at each other or the way they just distanced five centimetres from each other, as if it were going to make a difference —they really needed to have a serious grown up talk related to hiding relationships—, but, at least, they were together now —with the occasional appearance of Triss and Sabrina at bedtime, proving that Tissaia’s bed was wide enough for four people if they were ordered enough— and anything that would come next wouldn’t be that bad or hard, not while they have each other and could rely on each other’s support.

After all, there was no place like home and, by then, they both knew who their home was.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this wasn't supposed to be over 2k because I was not inspired + it's the first time I directly write on English (apologies for any mistake, they are all on my own), but It passed 8k, so I am going to give up on trying to understand my brain, sorry.


End file.
